Chapter 5 - Chronicles One 1959
Created by Larry 4 years agoChronicles of Metamorphisis
In The Life Of
Larry James Kemp
Architectural / Industrial Designer/Musician & Survivalist
In Memory Of John Steven Kemp & Hugh Charles Kemp
http://huey.muchloved.com
In 1959, a twelve year old boy in Central Illinois began keeping a diary in a quest for truth and higher intelligence. This was the beginning of a saga that continues today. This is a true story and mystery concerning the results of a lifetime experiment in the power of the pen and the evolution of the individual. Remember that this is coded information for advanced students of Habitran Technology. I think of myself as a Christian Soldier fighting the Good fight...part of which is a fight for good information...and why is it that so much good information has to be lost by fools casting pearls before swine. Why have I been so foolish and lacking in good decision making. Where were the turning points in my life. These are some of the reasons for weaponizing the power of the pen and fighting against those who would have us kill each other for their entertainment. Information is power and I will take my chances. These very words are a shield against corruption. In the beginning there was the WORD.
2008 - This autobiography/research composition is composed of actual records starting in 1959 to date. Personal history along the way is part of the story and mystery. Present time comments and later reflections add to a unique story and documentary of the life and times of Larry James Kemp - See www.ljkemp.20fr.com and www.habitran.20fr.com
To set the scene properly, a brief history is needed. The context of these writings is as important as the content.
The Early Years
I was born July 19,1946 in Carrolton, Illinois. My father and mother are Charles Lawrence Kemp and Eileen Elinor Abernathy. My father is English / German and mother is Scottish / Irish. There is some Italian in there somewhere too. Both parents were born and raised in the Central Illinois / St. Louis area. Dad was a high school teacher with a degree from Illinois College at Jacksonville and University of Illinois. Mom was also a teacher with a degree in Music and taught grade school Music. Dad was a big football star at Illinois College. Dad taught at several different schools in the area including Arenzville, Fillmore, Raymond and Morrisonville. Mother started out teaching all grades in a one-room schoolhouse.
Where my grand parents came from is noted somewhere in somebody's family tree and that is about it. I did see and visit with both grandparents on many occasions but they didn't share much information with me that would be about them and who they were and where they came from and how they feel and so on. My parents took great care not to tell the kids anything about the grandparents or themselves. I probably could have found out more if I had realized at the time that I needed to ask more questions but such information was not important to me then and I assumed at the time that my parents would tell me if there was something I should know. My parents or grandparents never sat down with the kids and told stories of the old days. In hind site, I think that there was volumes of information that we all should have been told but that was deliberately covered up. So, here is some general information that I have collected.
Grandpa Kemp was a carpenter, he was in the Army in WWI, he had an old Plymouth with tip-down arm rests and he let me drive it a couple of times. He was estranged from his family for some reason shortly after their 4th child. Charles Lawrence was the oldest kid of the family and basically raised the other 3 by himself and Grandma Kemp. So, you could say that the family was disfunctional but functional for about 10 years. I assume that was when the war started and the family was adversely effected. Grandma Kemp was a feisty loud spoken and jovial woman. She always had something to say about those damn Democrats. She always had a big meal on the table and we always felt like a family. I last saw them in Jacksonville, Illinois living in a little house in the city. I was at Grandpa's side with Aunt Ola, in the hospital, when Grandpa Kemp died.
Grandpa Abernathy was a farmer from Concord, Illinois. They had several hundred acres of land which is still in the family and he also was an avid inventor with several patents related to farming equipment. Grandma Abernathy was also a feisty old woman who would slap your hand if you touched the fried chicken. They lived in a big 2 story house on their property in the Concord, Arenzville, Illinois area with barns and corn cribs and all types of animals including horses. We always had a great time there too. Our cousins, Jill, Mark & Michael were always there too. Dad taught school in Arenzville too and that is where he met mother.
Apparently, Grandma & Grandpa Abernathy had a falling out after about 15 years and were divorced. I saw him a few times but mostly he was gone when we were visiting. So, there you have another disfunctional family.
I was the fourth of 5 children. In 1946 the Kemp family was living in White Hall, Illinois, a town close to Carrolton. There they had Larry & Hugh the last of the 5 children. Georgia, the oldest, Then Sylvia, then John then Larry and then Hugh. I was what is known as the middle child of the family. I had a big brother and a little brother; Huey, Dewy & Lewy as the local band instructor used to call us.
When I was born, Dad had to sell a team of mules to pay the hospital bill. He frequently laughed that he had wondered ever sense if the trade-off was worth it.
At the beginning of these chronicles, the family had settled down in Morrisonville, Illinois. We lived on a 4.5 acre plot of land about a mile outside of town. Both parents are teachers at the local school and all the kids have to go to the same school. Dad taught Biology, World History and Economics. Mom taught grade school music and gave voice lessons and piano lessons at home, plus played the piano & organ at the Church. Mom & Dad were both off for the summers so we spent the summers running a small truck-farm with greenhouses and gardens and flowers.
Our house was built brand new at the new location and the closest house was a quarter mile away. All around us was farm land and a few gently rolling hills with a creek winding through a forested area out back. Dad finally got a large greenhouse built and also got a large dam built which created a pond for watering plants and swimming. Needless to say, we had great times there, and the setting was ideal for the most part. My parents worked hard and did without to give us kids a good home. They were very strict and punishment was swift. Compared to other kids, I felt well off and tried to be thankful for a beautiful place and time.
However, the general everyday atmosphere had an undertow of violence, screaming, terror and squabbling. If the Old Man was on a rampage you had to run for cover! The new house was built with wood joists hardwood floor over a full basement. One stomp of the foot would echo throughout the house. Every morning, the Old Man would stomp through the house to wake everyone up and terrorize them with yelling and threats. My two brothers were constantly violent towards me and fights were everyday. Sylvia tried to escape the Old Man's tyranny one day in the '53 Mercury and got stuck in the yard. She locked herself in for a while but finally gave up. Both girls ended up running off to Chicago to get out of the house of madness. I tried to talk to Georgia one day about something and she just said that I would find out when I was older. I felt that I could understand things right then. Of course, Georgia probably knew that I could understand things just fine but simply didn't want to deal with a 12 year old at that time.
That got me started into recording things. I decided to start writing things down so that I could review them later and see if my thoughts today are still my thoughts tomorrow. That shows that even back then, I was looking at things in galactic time or far down the road ahead, plus I had to overcome the political stigma of keeping a diary. With the situation at home being overwhelmimgly demanding and me feeling like I was being left out of all the fun other kids were having, I decided that at the that rate, my future is bleak anyway so why not just make my life something others can learn from. I was, and still am, interested in scientific things and the scientific method of analysis. I decided to use the writings coupled with experimentation to see what new knowledge I might aquire about myself and other factors in my life.
The general concept is to just start writing about whatever is on your mind at the time and over a period of time, the writings will reveal a direction. The direction can be analyzed, quantified and controlled thus giving one more power over one's destiny. Knowledge is Power and I'd rather have a lot of it than none at all. I'll take my chances with too much power. However, really good knowledge is extreemly hard to come by anyway so the likelyhood of me or the average person having too much power is quite remote.
As I go along with records from the past, I will stop in real time to elaborate on various issues that may seem relevant to the subject material being discussed. Basically, these comments, made in 2008 or after will be an on-going discussion of present situations and hind site evaluations. These comments will be in italic.
These recordings are copied from hand written notes as precisely as possible with minimal modifications. The dates are not necessarily in linear form.
The first entry is what I had visualized as the opening to a book called "Field Notes". At the time I was working for Architects and was relating my work techniques with personal research techniques. This should be a fitting introduction even today.
Early 1970's
The term Field Notes comes from a word used in the building industry. Architects and Engineers must frequently gather data in the "field" or at the construction site. The same is true for Engineers, Lawyers, Crime Labs and Marketing Firms. They spend a lot of time roaming around certain geographical areas to collect data or to take notes related to the project at hand. The objective is to collect data on the existing conditions.
Before the project can be realistically pursued, the Field Notes must be gathered. In my case, I did not know what the project was. All I knew was that something was just not right in my life and in the world and that it has nothing to do with Faith in God. That "something" needs to be exposed and dealt with somehow and it seemed that words and pictures have a power yet unknown that has the potential for problem solving. In other words, I knew that the words would speak for themselves, especially if the words are about scientific experimentation and using the scientific method. The Bible teaches the power of the Word. Therefore, in this case, the theme of this writing is to allow a theme or purpose to present itself through the notes. The notes are whatever is on my mind at the time that I feel like recording.
September 10, 1959
The morning was cold. I don't know why, it just all of a sudden got cold. The breakfast was hot. We had Cocoa Wheat that Mom fixed. We also had milk and biscuits. I got all ready for school and asked mom if I could ride my bike as I have been doing for some days.
We lived only about a mile from town and to get to school I could go with Mom & Dad, wait for the bus or ride my bike.
At school everything was the same as usual. When it came dinner time I had just remembered that I forgot to get lunch money. I borrowed it from a friend. After school I had 3 cents left from getting baloons. A friend of mine gave me a nickel for the 3 cents. I then went home and had fun building stick and log huts down by the creek.
Sept.11, 1959
This morning I had the regular breakfast. I was late for the bus because I was getting Lassie, my dog, a warm bed. We got new history books today. This evening my model sail boat floated perfectly on the creek. It went about a half an hour per mile fast.
Sept.12, 1959
Saturday we cleaned eggs real early. When we got home, Mom & Dad had gone to Champaign so we had fun playing around up town. When we got home we had fun then too and went to bed.
Sept.13, 1959
Sunday we got up, went to Sunday School and then came home and had more fun.
Sept.16, 1959
I have been changed over to the "dumb room" at school. That is the half of the class that makes the lowest grades. I have had a hard time catching up with the rest of the class since the fourth grade when I fell through the ceiling and fractured my skull.
During the construction of our new house in Morrisonville, dad and I were working late one night and he had me up in the attic space laying down boards to walk on and I slipped and fell through, 10 feet to the concrete floor. In retrospect years later, that was a very irresponsible act on dad's part to have me up there anyway. I remember him saying to be sure and only step on the rafters but still, to expect a 9 year old to carry out that order seems a stretch, especially when you know the kid's past history of being immature for his age. I have always wondered where John & Hugh were that night and why none of the other kids ever visited me in the hospital for the next 6 weeks or during a lengthy out-patient recovery.
I was born with Celiacs Disease and also suffered from Ricketts according to a later doctor's analysis of my bone structure. I had to be on a special diet for a long time after I was born. Aunt Ola, dad's sister, used to come and visit and bring me bananas and other good stuff that the other kids could not have. I remember that Aunt Ola took me to a specialist in Chicago for my eyes because I had problems with the retinas not closing in bright light. I have had to wear sunglasses ever sense. Sylvia told me many years later that they were all extreemly jealous of me for getting all that attention and that she was still mad about that and this is some 30 years later! This is important because it explains a lot about what drove me to start writing in the first place.
January 26, 1960
I will start out the day by saying that the breakfast was good and mom & dad left early so it was half an hour before we got on the bus. After they left, Hugh and I got out a half of Pepsi from the refridgerator and drank it. John got mad and started hitting us. Let me tell you, when he gets started you are done for because he really hits hard!
I am on the bus now trying to see if I can write while it bounces around.
March 11, 1960
I finally got back into the smart class but it has been a long tuff battle! I am now eating first lunch hour again and that means I get to see Marci, my love. The snow is as deep as I have ever seen it!
June 9, 1960
I have been riding around town on my bike with Hugh and another kid having a blast.
Summer 1960
I have been to Church Camp and feeling very bad about having to leave. I have decided to write down how long it takes to get over this homesick feeling. Maybe next year I will be better prepared.
I play the French Horn and I have been practicing a lot lately to prepare for a big band festival coming up. Only 4 students are going and I am one of them.
Jan 20, 1961
I have just received a letter containing $5.00. It is from the Springfield High School for drawing large pictures of cartoon characters. I am very happy to receive it and am planning on getting more art materials. This is the first money I ever received for doing drawings.
June 1961
I have been working on my coin collection quite a bit lately. I have mostly pennies and nickels and a few dimes.
Summer 1961
I just got back from summer Church Camp. I had great fun and really enjoyed myself. I was elected district study chairman of the CYF and I am very happy about that. I am hoping to get promoted every year until I am president as was John, my older brother.
I was just thinking about my career as an artist and I think that I should start as a cartoon drawer and work up to being famous as did Walt Disney.
Nov 1962
This Friday I will be in our class play, The Perfect Idiot. I play the role of Walter Latherby, a soap salesman who is hypnotized by a tape recording and walks around making an idiot out of himself.
Funny how no one else wanted to play the role. Even back then other kids understood about protecting themselves from what other people might think. I was always told not to worry about what people think. Talk about bad information! What people think is what runs the world! Just another example of how everyone in my family was united in a campaign of disinformation against Larry.
Last Friday, when John came home from college at S.I.U. he and I double dated and went to a show in Springfield. I took Nancy and we had more fun than a barrel of monkeys!
Other matters: I went to the basketball game tonight and we won! I have been working on posters for a contest sponsored by the Merchant Marines. I also have been working on a drawing of irises for Nancy. I have already drawn one picture of irises and one of the Praying Hands. I also got a new record player not too long ago that I forgot to mention.
March 19, 1963
As you see you are very lazy and don't write in here as often as you should. Since Nancy has been gone I have been going to the Raymond dance and have met a girl who looks a lot like Nancy.
Dec 15, 1963
Almost a year ago was my last date with Nancy in Illinois. Since I wrote in here last, I have been to Texas to see her and I can actually say that it was the best time I ever had since I was born! After that she came and visited me too so I guess it hasen't been a year since I dated her. It was a year ago that I got the bad news that she and her family had to move to Texas. I had a riot taking the truck to Springfield to see Nancy eight times in a row while mom and dad were on vacation. It is an old '49 Chevy but it still runs perfectly.
I even have my own car now. It is my second one. First I had a '57 Plymouth, V-8 automatic. It really had power but it just popped one day. Now I have a 1960, slant 6, stick shift Plymouth. I would still rather have the '57.
August 14, 1964
A lot has happened since I last wrote in here. That last summer that I had so much fun was the last for a while. This summer was awful! I met a new girl at a basketball game around the end of school, her name is Caroyl from Taylorville. I have been going with her all summer and I rate her about third on my girl list. Now we are going to have to break up since I am going to college at S.I.U. at Carbondale. I don't really mind though because I am sick of her anyway.
In other matters: I have been working at the Weber farm all summer, Marcia's family. It has been hell but it has been worth it. I bought me a real nice sterio record player for $187.00. I gave my old one to Caroyl.
I will soon be at the S.I.U. campus. I hope I get a break real soon. Good luck!
Nov 15, 1964
Well, here I am at Southern. I am all settled down and going fairly well grade wise. I have met a real nice girl here and she is the perfect girl for me to have at college. As far as other things go, I bowl on tuesday nights and our team is first in ratings so far.
Dec 1, 1964
Mom and dad are having a tough time getting John and I through school. I have been looking for a job at a construction company in town. If they won't take me I will have to get a job thru the school. Remember, for another hobby, have an electric train bonanza in the basement. In your future house you should have a bar room. Also remember that for your future family, when there is arguments, take the time to hear out everyone's case before comimg to any conclusions.
Jan 3, 1965
Well, a lot has happened since I last made a recording. The quarter ended giving me an average of 3.176 which is the same as a "C". I then went home for Christmas.
Summer 1965
Taylorville, Illinois. I am now working in a metal shop to get money for next year at Southern. Brother Hugh works there too as do many of my friends from high school. This so-called "job" is a dirty, filthy scumbag job! They treat everyone as an illiterate stupid, honery idiot with no self respect! Nancy came from Texas to visit me for a week. All of the other scumbags at the shop were surprised when this one had his lunch in the park across the street with a beautiful lady of class!
February 1966
To bring things up to date, I have a job now as a draftsman at Fritz W. Glitsch in Dallas, Texas.
I loved Nancy so much that I opted out of school to go to Texas to be with her. Hugh and I got into trouble for shoplifting during the break and that messed up both our lives for a while. I went to Texas to see if I could rekindle my relationship with Nancy but it didn't work out so I just stayed there for a while.
I have been through several apartments and several girls but I am finally settled down in an apartment by myself and I have two fine girls who keep me well occupied....if I have enough money. Lately I have not seen much of them because I need to save my money to get home to go to court on March 4th. I just cannot go into anymore details on that situation. I get sick just thinking about it.
Concerning the situation of America in Vietnam, it is getting very critical. Many young men my age and many friends from highschool have been drafted already. I have not because of the court situation. March 4th and after will be a critical period for me. If we get probation I will have enough time to get back to Southern before I get drafted. I need time to save up money because I know mom and dad cannot afford it.
Feb 28, 1966
Tonight I decided that I just cannot settle for commercial art. I want Architecture because it is what has always been in the back of my mind, I have already got started with it and I am at least going to finish it whether I succeed at large or not. S.I.U. here I come!
March 10. 1966
I am back from Texas now. I took a jet to St. Louis and a propeller plane from there to Springfield. I believe it was Ozark Airlines. It was my first time on a propeller plane that big. It felt more like airplanes in the movies because of the way they slant to the rear when sitting on the ground. I really enjoyed every minute of it. After going back to Southern and seeing all of my old friends, I am just dieing to get back into school. I am hoping I can get in on the spring term of this year but I may not have enough money.
Mar 18, 1966
I think I should include some news of recent happenings in my life other than personal stuff. I got my car fixed today. I got a new transmission put in and so far it seems to check out all right. Nothing else now except that I worked on saturday for a change. The transmission is important because my '66 Mustang is my life. I let brother Hugh borrow it and he proceeded to get drunk and drive it into the local river at Carbondale. The transmission was destroyed. The warranty period was past the allowed 24,000 miles but Hugh made amends and turned back the odometer for me. I finally got a good stirio in the Mustang which Hugh made generous contributions to.
Many of the things I said I was going to do have been accomplished. I said I needed to go to Texas to find out for sure about Nancy and that is done. I came back and I said I would start over and I am. Now I say I will quit smoking when I get a set of weights and that is in the making. I also say that I will be an Architect one day.
May 10, 1966
Things seem to be going up for me lately. Of course, they had to go up. I couldn't have been any worse off! I have been dating around quite a bit since I got back and am I ever enjoying it!
I sure hope I do not get drafted because I have a good thing going. Plenty of money, a great car, and a great girl!
The job in Springfield is going fine. The job on the farm is going fine but I am not saving any money.
I got a job working with the state highway department doing cartography and working weekends and off times at the Weber farm so I could see Marcia.
John is getting married the 16th of this month finally after bickering around with his woman for a while. I get to be the best man at the wedding!
Dad is going to school in Bloomington and comes home on weekends. Mom is in school in Colorado and Hugh is working in Wisconsin. There are many more details that I want to record but right now I say to hell with it! I am mad at Rosetta and I can't think well.
Rosetta is a girl from Taylorville whom I was dating a lot.
March 2, 1966
A lot has happened since I last wrote in here. I am entering Springfield Junior College to take a course in Statistics. If I make good enough grades maybe dad will give me all the money I need for a 4 year degree. He has offered to but I may not need it. Everything is going fine except now that I have this Mustang to pay for I can't afford to do anything. I guess I will lay low for a while and see if I can save some money. John is finally married off and on his way.
Sept 21, 1966
Winter is coming on and summer fun is almost over now. But, of course the winter fun is yet to come. As far as love life has gone lately, I have met quite a few more girls, some more desirable than others but none so outstandingly great as Rosetta!
As for the car, it is holding up fine except for a few minor things. The heater switches are giving me a pain in the neck. I am taking the course at Springfield Junior College. I have gone to several classes now and seem to be grasping it in fair condition.
Hugh wants to make a prediction. In 7 years he is supposed to have a good VW business going and making a lot of money. According to him, I will still be fooling around trying to get my education and just barely getting along, probably married and in a rut. My prediction will be a little more general and without trying to put him down like he tries to put me down all the time. I will sat that in 7 years, I should have a B.A. in Architecture and on my way to making millions in one or more of the projects that Hugh and I have discussed. I will probably be married but I will be getting along very well as far as money goes.
Nov 6, 1966
I guess I need to do a little catching up here. I have moved to Springfield now.
I was living at home in Morrisonville and commuting everyday to Springfield.
We have really been having a great time having booze parties and getting raided by the cops.
I lived in an apartment house with 2 other guys and three girls lived in the apartment above. We had the entire Springfield basketball team over one night for a giant party.
Some of the things I have been doing and thinking about doing are really fabulous! I am on the verge of getting a real long term loan and going back to S.I.U. I might major in music after I finish the course in Architecture.
As I stated earlier, I played the french horn and did very well at contests and such. I auditioned at S.I.U. for a scholarship and all I had to do was fill out the paperwork later but I just could not do it and my heart was not in it unless I could get someone else to fill out the paperwork. To this day I hate filling out paperwork. Mother went with me to Southern and played the piano for my audition but later after I got the paperwork in the mail, I was shocked that she refused to help me or encourage me in any way.
I don't see or hear much from Rosetta anymore although I would really like to. I met a new girl at work last week who is turning out just fine. Her name is Ruby from Pana.
Rosetta and I had a falling out and I never saw her again. I don't blame her though since I was rude to her and never took her anywhere except to make out somewhere. I think she figured I had the hots for her sister but she was wrong. In hind site, I truly loved her and should have told her so and asked her to marry me.
Ruby and I also had a falling out when I caught her flirting with another guy.
March 8, 1967
Well, here I am at S.I.U. again. I am not enrolled yet but will be for the spring term. I have a good part time job, full time now, with J.T. Blankinship land surveying company in Murphysboro. I do drafting with mostly ink on linen. We draw topographical site plans and city sewer systems and water lines. I am living off campus. I have my car here and even brought XL with me from the last trip home this past weekend. XL is our new dog since Lassie died.
Lassie will always be in my memories. She was the dog that I grew up with, the dog that I shared my innermost thoughts with, the dog that our whole family loved and the dog that died from heartbreak when all us kids left and rarely ever came home to see her. Dad was her only company at the end. I still feel her pain.
This is the last of the early years. Hugh and I were both living in Carbondale when the Vietnam war was raging. We both decided to sign up with the Navy and were expected to go for the physical the next day. I really wanted to go and was excited about it but refused to go the next day at 4:00 in the morning. I just could not get out of bed that early. I needed more time to settle my affairs but the time was just not there and Hugh went on without me. I know that Hugh was furious with me and thought I tricked him somehow into signing up but he was wrong. I was just mixed up and confused at the time and just could not make good decisions. The suddeness of it all just dumbfounded me utterly. The Navy gave us about 12 hours from the time we signed up to the time we were supposed to show up for the physical, to make a complete life changing decision and I felt that that was completely unfair. I thought I would have more time, at least a few days, to get myself adjusted to the idea. As it turns out, I never would have passed the physical because of the head injury in the 4th grade. If I had only gone for the physical and shown Hugh that I was committed, then that would have changed our relationship from there on. As it was, Hugh had even more reason to hate me for the rest of his life. Shortly thereafter I went from 1-A to 4-F and finished out the year at S.I.U. with an Associate Degree in Architecture. While at school, I met Debbie and got her pregnant so we got married. Just before graduation, a group of Architects flew in to Carbondale to interview people for jobs with their firm which specialized in churches. I was one of three candidates chosen to fly back with them for further interviews. While we were having a big dinner at this grand hotel, they were giving us all a chance to speak up for ourselves and the question of, "Have you ever been arrested?" came up and I admitted that I had been, like a fool, in front of about 30 people, and lost all chance of being hired as I happily explained about my shoplifting experiences. This shows how out-of-touch I was with reality and unprepared. It seems to me that the instructors at the school should have given us a little talk before going. Afterall, they were the ones who set it all up. There were other instances too, during the school year, of extreem irresponsibility and incompetence on the part of the instructors. At one point I was ready to bring charges against one instructor but chose not to so as not to effect my graduation. If a student wants to bring charges against an instructor for whatever reason, they will be threatened with failure to graduate whether they are right or wrong.
After graduation in 1968, Debbie and I went to Chicago with our new-born, Lee Eric and I got my first real job in Architecture with the Gulf Oil Corporation in Park Ridge. We designed service stations for the mid west region. It was a great job and I excelled in everything at work but at home I became increasingly disillusioned with everything and sent Debbie and the baby packing back to her parents in Carbondale. Later I came back to Carbondale to try to make it work but to no avail. She decided that being free to sleep around was more important than a commitment to me or Lee Eric. I found this out by following her around secretly and watching what she was doing.
Just to set the record straight, I probably never would have gotten mixed up with Debbie had it not been for her persistence in following my every move. When I got home from classes there she was waiting for me everyday. I moved to the country and she would sneak in at night and jump in bed. She would say that she was in her period so as not to worry but she was mostly lieing and infact trying to get pregnant. I know this in hindsight of course. This was only the beginning of a long and rocky road of people lieing to me and deceiving me on many different levels. I was never taught about how the world at large lies and deceives. I admit that I was very gullible but what do you expect from a kid who was forced to live a transparent life and to always tell the truth no matter what. It took years of dedication to learn how to give up being transparent and honest all the time.
So, I realized that it was over with Debbie and faced up to the truth that this was all part of her plan to get pregnant, have the kid, get divorced and then get free money every month for child support...then do it all over again with the next guy. Do this several times and you have enough to live on without ever having to have a job or having to be true to one husband. Since then I have learned how this attitude among women has swept the country since about the end of the 1960's, probably an off-shoot of the free-love generation.
Later Comments:
This is all what was going through my mind at the time and from that perspective. Of course today... 2019...I know better and hind site is 2020. One very important issue that effected me very deeply was the way Debbie handled the divorce. Instead of discussing it with me on a person to person basis first...she went directly to a lawyer and drew up the papers and then confronted me. Up to then anyway...I was the nicest person you would want to meet. There was no sign in me that I might resort to sudden violence if she brought this up in a private and respectful way. Had she done that, I would have simply said how much you need and I will be by to see Lee at your pleasure. There would have been no need for courts and lawyers. This was not only insulting but an act of war to use lawyers to paint me as some kind of a criminal who needs to be forced into paying child support. This is where I learned about how rigged the court system is. They turned divorce into a game of cat and mouse. The first one to file is considered to be in the right and the female is always considered innocent. The lawyers can make up anything they want with no proof required. At that time I believed that before a final divorce was declared, there would be a requirement by the court to see that both parties have been through psycological and civil tests of some kind. That is, as an American citizen, I should be able to trust the government to have my family's best interest in mind. After all, the child should be the first concern, not the two main parties. Every effort should be made to save a family before crushing any possibility of undoing long term damage to a young mind.
This kind of crap is still going on today all over the country. The idea that my government can walk into my life with no need of evidence and put a price on my child's head and force me to pay is outrageous!!! She knew that if she worked with me and showed a little respect and kept the law out of it, that I would probably do more than what the court ordered. I was a good respectable guy with a great future ahead of me and money would have been no problem. For her,the real issue was not just getting the money but destroying me personally and financially. That is the way I saw it at the time. And now you can see how I lost my son to lies and deception.
Read on at Chronicles II
In The Life Of
Larry James Kemp
Architectural / Industrial Designer/Musician & Survivalist
In Memory Of John Steven Kemp & Hugh Charles Kemp
http://huey.muchloved.com
In 1959, a twelve year old boy in Central Illinois began keeping a diary in a quest for truth and higher intelligence. This was the beginning of a saga that continues today. This is a true story and mystery concerning the results of a lifetime experiment in the power of the pen and the evolution of the individual. Remember that this is coded information for advanced students of Habitran Technology. I think of myself as a Christian Soldier fighting the Good fight...part of which is a fight for good information...and why is it that so much good information has to be lost by fools casting pearls before swine. Why have I been so foolish and lacking in good decision making. Where were the turning points in my life. These are some of the reasons for weaponizing the power of the pen and fighting against those who would have us kill each other for their entertainment. Information is power and I will take my chances. These very words are a shield against corruption. In the beginning there was the WORD.
2008 - This autobiography/research composition is composed of actual records starting in 1959 to date. Personal history along the way is part of the story and mystery. Present time comments and later reflections add to a unique story and documentary of the life and times of Larry James Kemp - See www.ljkemp.20fr.com and www.habitran.20fr.com
To set the scene properly, a brief history is needed. The context of these writings is as important as the content.
The Early Years
I was born July 19,1946 in Carrolton, Illinois. My father and mother are Charles Lawrence Kemp and Eileen Elinor Abernathy. My father is English / German and mother is Scottish / Irish. There is some Italian in there somewhere too. Both parents were born and raised in the Central Illinois / St. Louis area. Dad was a high school teacher with a degree from Illinois College at Jacksonville and University of Illinois. Mom was also a teacher with a degree in Music and taught grade school Music. Dad was a big football star at Illinois College. Dad taught at several different schools in the area including Arenzville, Fillmore, Raymond and Morrisonville. Mother started out teaching all grades in a one-room schoolhouse.
Where my grand parents came from is noted somewhere in somebody's family tree and that is about it. I did see and visit with both grandparents on many occasions but they didn't share much information with me that would be about them and who they were and where they came from and how they feel and so on. My parents took great care not to tell the kids anything about the grandparents or themselves. I probably could have found out more if I had realized at the time that I needed to ask more questions but such information was not important to me then and I assumed at the time that my parents would tell me if there was something I should know. My parents or grandparents never sat down with the kids and told stories of the old days. In hind site, I think that there was volumes of information that we all should have been told but that was deliberately covered up. So, here is some general information that I have collected.
Grandpa Kemp was a carpenter, he was in the Army in WWI, he had an old Plymouth with tip-down arm rests and he let me drive it a couple of times. He was estranged from his family for some reason shortly after their 4th child. Charles Lawrence was the oldest kid of the family and basically raised the other 3 by himself and Grandma Kemp. So, you could say that the family was disfunctional but functional for about 10 years. I assume that was when the war started and the family was adversely effected. Grandma Kemp was a feisty loud spoken and jovial woman. She always had something to say about those damn Democrats. She always had a big meal on the table and we always felt like a family. I last saw them in Jacksonville, Illinois living in a little house in the city. I was at Grandpa's side with Aunt Ola, in the hospital, when Grandpa Kemp died.
Grandpa Abernathy was a farmer from Concord, Illinois. They had several hundred acres of land which is still in the family and he also was an avid inventor with several patents related to farming equipment. Grandma Abernathy was also a feisty old woman who would slap your hand if you touched the fried chicken. They lived in a big 2 story house on their property in the Concord, Arenzville, Illinois area with barns and corn cribs and all types of animals including horses. We always had a great time there too. Our cousins, Jill, Mark & Michael were always there too. Dad taught school in Arenzville too and that is where he met mother.
Apparently, Grandma & Grandpa Abernathy had a falling out after about 15 years and were divorced. I saw him a few times but mostly he was gone when we were visiting. So, there you have another disfunctional family.
I was the fourth of 5 children. In 1946 the Kemp family was living in White Hall, Illinois, a town close to Carrolton. There they had Larry & Hugh the last of the 5 children. Georgia, the oldest, Then Sylvia, then John then Larry and then Hugh. I was what is known as the middle child of the family. I had a big brother and a little brother; Huey, Dewy & Lewy as the local band instructor used to call us.
When I was born, Dad had to sell a team of mules to pay the hospital bill. He frequently laughed that he had wondered ever sense if the trade-off was worth it.
At the beginning of these chronicles, the family had settled down in Morrisonville, Illinois. We lived on a 4.5 acre plot of land about a mile outside of town. Both parents are teachers at the local school and all the kids have to go to the same school. Dad taught Biology, World History and Economics. Mom taught grade school music and gave voice lessons and piano lessons at home, plus played the piano & organ at the Church. Mom & Dad were both off for the summers so we spent the summers running a small truck-farm with greenhouses and gardens and flowers.
Our house was built brand new at the new location and the closest house was a quarter mile away. All around us was farm land and a few gently rolling hills with a creek winding through a forested area out back. Dad finally got a large greenhouse built and also got a large dam built which created a pond for watering plants and swimming. Needless to say, we had great times there, and the setting was ideal for the most part. My parents worked hard and did without to give us kids a good home. They were very strict and punishment was swift. Compared to other kids, I felt well off and tried to be thankful for a beautiful place and time.
However, the general everyday atmosphere had an undertow of violence, screaming, terror and squabbling. If the Old Man was on a rampage you had to run for cover! The new house was built with wood joists hardwood floor over a full basement. One stomp of the foot would echo throughout the house. Every morning, the Old Man would stomp through the house to wake everyone up and terrorize them with yelling and threats. My two brothers were constantly violent towards me and fights were everyday. Sylvia tried to escape the Old Man's tyranny one day in the '53 Mercury and got stuck in the yard. She locked herself in for a while but finally gave up. Both girls ended up running off to Chicago to get out of the house of madness. I tried to talk to Georgia one day about something and she just said that I would find out when I was older. I felt that I could understand things right then. Of course, Georgia probably knew that I could understand things just fine but simply didn't want to deal with a 12 year old at that time.
That got me started into recording things. I decided to start writing things down so that I could review them later and see if my thoughts today are still my thoughts tomorrow. That shows that even back then, I was looking at things in galactic time or far down the road ahead, plus I had to overcome the political stigma of keeping a diary. With the situation at home being overwhelmimgly demanding and me feeling like I was being left out of all the fun other kids were having, I decided that at the that rate, my future is bleak anyway so why not just make my life something others can learn from. I was, and still am, interested in scientific things and the scientific method of analysis. I decided to use the writings coupled with experimentation to see what new knowledge I might aquire about myself and other factors in my life.
The general concept is to just start writing about whatever is on your mind at the time and over a period of time, the writings will reveal a direction. The direction can be analyzed, quantified and controlled thus giving one more power over one's destiny. Knowledge is Power and I'd rather have a lot of it than none at all. I'll take my chances with too much power. However, really good knowledge is extreemly hard to come by anyway so the likelyhood of me or the average person having too much power is quite remote.
As I go along with records from the past, I will stop in real time to elaborate on various issues that may seem relevant to the subject material being discussed. Basically, these comments, made in 2008 or after will be an on-going discussion of present situations and hind site evaluations. These comments will be in italic.
These recordings are copied from hand written notes as precisely as possible with minimal modifications. The dates are not necessarily in linear form.
The first entry is what I had visualized as the opening to a book called "Field Notes". At the time I was working for Architects and was relating my work techniques with personal research techniques. This should be a fitting introduction even today.
Early 1970's
The term Field Notes comes from a word used in the building industry. Architects and Engineers must frequently gather data in the "field" or at the construction site. The same is true for Engineers, Lawyers, Crime Labs and Marketing Firms. They spend a lot of time roaming around certain geographical areas to collect data or to take notes related to the project at hand. The objective is to collect data on the existing conditions.
Before the project can be realistically pursued, the Field Notes must be gathered. In my case, I did not know what the project was. All I knew was that something was just not right in my life and in the world and that it has nothing to do with Faith in God. That "something" needs to be exposed and dealt with somehow and it seemed that words and pictures have a power yet unknown that has the potential for problem solving. In other words, I knew that the words would speak for themselves, especially if the words are about scientific experimentation and using the scientific method. The Bible teaches the power of the Word. Therefore, in this case, the theme of this writing is to allow a theme or purpose to present itself through the notes. The notes are whatever is on my mind at the time that I feel like recording.
September 10, 1959
The morning was cold. I don't know why, it just all of a sudden got cold. The breakfast was hot. We had Cocoa Wheat that Mom fixed. We also had milk and biscuits. I got all ready for school and asked mom if I could ride my bike as I have been doing for some days.
We lived only about a mile from town and to get to school I could go with Mom & Dad, wait for the bus or ride my bike.
At school everything was the same as usual. When it came dinner time I had just remembered that I forgot to get lunch money. I borrowed it from a friend. After school I had 3 cents left from getting baloons. A friend of mine gave me a nickel for the 3 cents. I then went home and had fun building stick and log huts down by the creek.
Sept.11, 1959
This morning I had the regular breakfast. I was late for the bus because I was getting Lassie, my dog, a warm bed. We got new history books today. This evening my model sail boat floated perfectly on the creek. It went about a half an hour per mile fast.
Sept.12, 1959
Saturday we cleaned eggs real early. When we got home, Mom & Dad had gone to Champaign so we had fun playing around up town. When we got home we had fun then too and went to bed.
Sept.13, 1959
Sunday we got up, went to Sunday School and then came home and had more fun.
Sept.16, 1959
I have been changed over to the "dumb room" at school. That is the half of the class that makes the lowest grades. I have had a hard time catching up with the rest of the class since the fourth grade when I fell through the ceiling and fractured my skull.
During the construction of our new house in Morrisonville, dad and I were working late one night and he had me up in the attic space laying down boards to walk on and I slipped and fell through, 10 feet to the concrete floor. In retrospect years later, that was a very irresponsible act on dad's part to have me up there anyway. I remember him saying to be sure and only step on the rafters but still, to expect a 9 year old to carry out that order seems a stretch, especially when you know the kid's past history of being immature for his age. I have always wondered where John & Hugh were that night and why none of the other kids ever visited me in the hospital for the next 6 weeks or during a lengthy out-patient recovery.
I was born with Celiacs Disease and also suffered from Ricketts according to a later doctor's analysis of my bone structure. I had to be on a special diet for a long time after I was born. Aunt Ola, dad's sister, used to come and visit and bring me bananas and other good stuff that the other kids could not have. I remember that Aunt Ola took me to a specialist in Chicago for my eyes because I had problems with the retinas not closing in bright light. I have had to wear sunglasses ever sense. Sylvia told me many years later that they were all extreemly jealous of me for getting all that attention and that she was still mad about that and this is some 30 years later! This is important because it explains a lot about what drove me to start writing in the first place.
January 26, 1960
I will start out the day by saying that the breakfast was good and mom & dad left early so it was half an hour before we got on the bus. After they left, Hugh and I got out a half of Pepsi from the refridgerator and drank it. John got mad and started hitting us. Let me tell you, when he gets started you are done for because he really hits hard!
I am on the bus now trying to see if I can write while it bounces around.
March 11, 1960
I finally got back into the smart class but it has been a long tuff battle! I am now eating first lunch hour again and that means I get to see Marci, my love. The snow is as deep as I have ever seen it!
June 9, 1960
I have been riding around town on my bike with Hugh and another kid having a blast.
Summer 1960
I have been to Church Camp and feeling very bad about having to leave. I have decided to write down how long it takes to get over this homesick feeling. Maybe next year I will be better prepared.
I play the French Horn and I have been practicing a lot lately to prepare for a big band festival coming up. Only 4 students are going and I am one of them.
Jan 20, 1961
I have just received a letter containing $5.00. It is from the Springfield High School for drawing large pictures of cartoon characters. I am very happy to receive it and am planning on getting more art materials. This is the first money I ever received for doing drawings.
June 1961
I have been working on my coin collection quite a bit lately. I have mostly pennies and nickels and a few dimes.
Summer 1961
I just got back from summer Church Camp. I had great fun and really enjoyed myself. I was elected district study chairman of the CYF and I am very happy about that. I am hoping to get promoted every year until I am president as was John, my older brother.
I was just thinking about my career as an artist and I think that I should start as a cartoon drawer and work up to being famous as did Walt Disney.
Nov 1962
This Friday I will be in our class play, The Perfect Idiot. I play the role of Walter Latherby, a soap salesman who is hypnotized by a tape recording and walks around making an idiot out of himself.
Funny how no one else wanted to play the role. Even back then other kids understood about protecting themselves from what other people might think. I was always told not to worry about what people think. Talk about bad information! What people think is what runs the world! Just another example of how everyone in my family was united in a campaign of disinformation against Larry.
Last Friday, when John came home from college at S.I.U. he and I double dated and went to a show in Springfield. I took Nancy and we had more fun than a barrel of monkeys!
Other matters: I went to the basketball game tonight and we won! I have been working on posters for a contest sponsored by the Merchant Marines. I also have been working on a drawing of irises for Nancy. I have already drawn one picture of irises and one of the Praying Hands. I also got a new record player not too long ago that I forgot to mention.
March 19, 1963
As you see you are very lazy and don't write in here as often as you should. Since Nancy has been gone I have been going to the Raymond dance and have met a girl who looks a lot like Nancy.
Dec 15, 1963
Almost a year ago was my last date with Nancy in Illinois. Since I wrote in here last, I have been to Texas to see her and I can actually say that it was the best time I ever had since I was born! After that she came and visited me too so I guess it hasen't been a year since I dated her. It was a year ago that I got the bad news that she and her family had to move to Texas. I had a riot taking the truck to Springfield to see Nancy eight times in a row while mom and dad were on vacation. It is an old '49 Chevy but it still runs perfectly.
I even have my own car now. It is my second one. First I had a '57 Plymouth, V-8 automatic. It really had power but it just popped one day. Now I have a 1960, slant 6, stick shift Plymouth. I would still rather have the '57.
August 14, 1964
A lot has happened since I last wrote in here. That last summer that I had so much fun was the last for a while. This summer was awful! I met a new girl at a basketball game around the end of school, her name is Caroyl from Taylorville. I have been going with her all summer and I rate her about third on my girl list. Now we are going to have to break up since I am going to college at S.I.U. at Carbondale. I don't really mind though because I am sick of her anyway.
In other matters: I have been working at the Weber farm all summer, Marcia's family. It has been hell but it has been worth it. I bought me a real nice sterio record player for $187.00. I gave my old one to Caroyl.
I will soon be at the S.I.U. campus. I hope I get a break real soon. Good luck!
Nov 15, 1964
Well, here I am at Southern. I am all settled down and going fairly well grade wise. I have met a real nice girl here and she is the perfect girl for me to have at college. As far as other things go, I bowl on tuesday nights and our team is first in ratings so far.
Dec 1, 1964
Mom and dad are having a tough time getting John and I through school. I have been looking for a job at a construction company in town. If they won't take me I will have to get a job thru the school. Remember, for another hobby, have an electric train bonanza in the basement. In your future house you should have a bar room. Also remember that for your future family, when there is arguments, take the time to hear out everyone's case before comimg to any conclusions.
Jan 3, 1965
Well, a lot has happened since I last made a recording. The quarter ended giving me an average of 3.176 which is the same as a "C". I then went home for Christmas.
Summer 1965
Taylorville, Illinois. I am now working in a metal shop to get money for next year at Southern. Brother Hugh works there too as do many of my friends from high school. This so-called "job" is a dirty, filthy scumbag job! They treat everyone as an illiterate stupid, honery idiot with no self respect! Nancy came from Texas to visit me for a week. All of the other scumbags at the shop were surprised when this one had his lunch in the park across the street with a beautiful lady of class!
February 1966
To bring things up to date, I have a job now as a draftsman at Fritz W. Glitsch in Dallas, Texas.
I loved Nancy so much that I opted out of school to go to Texas to be with her. Hugh and I got into trouble for shoplifting during the break and that messed up both our lives for a while. I went to Texas to see if I could rekindle my relationship with Nancy but it didn't work out so I just stayed there for a while.
I have been through several apartments and several girls but I am finally settled down in an apartment by myself and I have two fine girls who keep me well occupied....if I have enough money. Lately I have not seen much of them because I need to save my money to get home to go to court on March 4th. I just cannot go into anymore details on that situation. I get sick just thinking about it.
Concerning the situation of America in Vietnam, it is getting very critical. Many young men my age and many friends from highschool have been drafted already. I have not because of the court situation. March 4th and after will be a critical period for me. If we get probation I will have enough time to get back to Southern before I get drafted. I need time to save up money because I know mom and dad cannot afford it.
Feb 28, 1966
Tonight I decided that I just cannot settle for commercial art. I want Architecture because it is what has always been in the back of my mind, I have already got started with it and I am at least going to finish it whether I succeed at large or not. S.I.U. here I come!
March 10. 1966
I am back from Texas now. I took a jet to St. Louis and a propeller plane from there to Springfield. I believe it was Ozark Airlines. It was my first time on a propeller plane that big. It felt more like airplanes in the movies because of the way they slant to the rear when sitting on the ground. I really enjoyed every minute of it. After going back to Southern and seeing all of my old friends, I am just dieing to get back into school. I am hoping I can get in on the spring term of this year but I may not have enough money.
Mar 18, 1966
I think I should include some news of recent happenings in my life other than personal stuff. I got my car fixed today. I got a new transmission put in and so far it seems to check out all right. Nothing else now except that I worked on saturday for a change. The transmission is important because my '66 Mustang is my life. I let brother Hugh borrow it and he proceeded to get drunk and drive it into the local river at Carbondale. The transmission was destroyed. The warranty period was past the allowed 24,000 miles but Hugh made amends and turned back the odometer for me. I finally got a good stirio in the Mustang which Hugh made generous contributions to.
Many of the things I said I was going to do have been accomplished. I said I needed to go to Texas to find out for sure about Nancy and that is done. I came back and I said I would start over and I am. Now I say I will quit smoking when I get a set of weights and that is in the making. I also say that I will be an Architect one day.
May 10, 1966
Things seem to be going up for me lately. Of course, they had to go up. I couldn't have been any worse off! I have been dating around quite a bit since I got back and am I ever enjoying it!
I sure hope I do not get drafted because I have a good thing going. Plenty of money, a great car, and a great girl!
The job in Springfield is going fine. The job on the farm is going fine but I am not saving any money.
I got a job working with the state highway department doing cartography and working weekends and off times at the Weber farm so I could see Marcia.
John is getting married the 16th of this month finally after bickering around with his woman for a while. I get to be the best man at the wedding!
Dad is going to school in Bloomington and comes home on weekends. Mom is in school in Colorado and Hugh is working in Wisconsin. There are many more details that I want to record but right now I say to hell with it! I am mad at Rosetta and I can't think well.
Rosetta is a girl from Taylorville whom I was dating a lot.
March 2, 1966
A lot has happened since I last wrote in here. I am entering Springfield Junior College to take a course in Statistics. If I make good enough grades maybe dad will give me all the money I need for a 4 year degree. He has offered to but I may not need it. Everything is going fine except now that I have this Mustang to pay for I can't afford to do anything. I guess I will lay low for a while and see if I can save some money. John is finally married off and on his way.
Sept 21, 1966
Winter is coming on and summer fun is almost over now. But, of course the winter fun is yet to come. As far as love life has gone lately, I have met quite a few more girls, some more desirable than others but none so outstandingly great as Rosetta!
As for the car, it is holding up fine except for a few minor things. The heater switches are giving me a pain in the neck. I am taking the course at Springfield Junior College. I have gone to several classes now and seem to be grasping it in fair condition.
Hugh wants to make a prediction. In 7 years he is supposed to have a good VW business going and making a lot of money. According to him, I will still be fooling around trying to get my education and just barely getting along, probably married and in a rut. My prediction will be a little more general and without trying to put him down like he tries to put me down all the time. I will sat that in 7 years, I should have a B.A. in Architecture and on my way to making millions in one or more of the projects that Hugh and I have discussed. I will probably be married but I will be getting along very well as far as money goes.
Nov 6, 1966
I guess I need to do a little catching up here. I have moved to Springfield now.
I was living at home in Morrisonville and commuting everyday to Springfield.
We have really been having a great time having booze parties and getting raided by the cops.
I lived in an apartment house with 2 other guys and three girls lived in the apartment above. We had the entire Springfield basketball team over one night for a giant party.
Some of the things I have been doing and thinking about doing are really fabulous! I am on the verge of getting a real long term loan and going back to S.I.U. I might major in music after I finish the course in Architecture.
As I stated earlier, I played the french horn and did very well at contests and such. I auditioned at S.I.U. for a scholarship and all I had to do was fill out the paperwork later but I just could not do it and my heart was not in it unless I could get someone else to fill out the paperwork. To this day I hate filling out paperwork. Mother went with me to Southern and played the piano for my audition but later after I got the paperwork in the mail, I was shocked that she refused to help me or encourage me in any way.
I don't see or hear much from Rosetta anymore although I would really like to. I met a new girl at work last week who is turning out just fine. Her name is Ruby from Pana.
Rosetta and I had a falling out and I never saw her again. I don't blame her though since I was rude to her and never took her anywhere except to make out somewhere. I think she figured I had the hots for her sister but she was wrong. In hind site, I truly loved her and should have told her so and asked her to marry me.
Ruby and I also had a falling out when I caught her flirting with another guy.
March 8, 1967
Well, here I am at S.I.U. again. I am not enrolled yet but will be for the spring term. I have a good part time job, full time now, with J.T. Blankinship land surveying company in Murphysboro. I do drafting with mostly ink on linen. We draw topographical site plans and city sewer systems and water lines. I am living off campus. I have my car here and even brought XL with me from the last trip home this past weekend. XL is our new dog since Lassie died.
Lassie will always be in my memories. She was the dog that I grew up with, the dog that I shared my innermost thoughts with, the dog that our whole family loved and the dog that died from heartbreak when all us kids left and rarely ever came home to see her. Dad was her only company at the end. I still feel her pain.
This is the last of the early years. Hugh and I were both living in Carbondale when the Vietnam war was raging. We both decided to sign up with the Navy and were expected to go for the physical the next day. I really wanted to go and was excited about it but refused to go the next day at 4:00 in the morning. I just could not get out of bed that early. I needed more time to settle my affairs but the time was just not there and Hugh went on without me. I know that Hugh was furious with me and thought I tricked him somehow into signing up but he was wrong. I was just mixed up and confused at the time and just could not make good decisions. The suddeness of it all just dumbfounded me utterly. The Navy gave us about 12 hours from the time we signed up to the time we were supposed to show up for the physical, to make a complete life changing decision and I felt that that was completely unfair. I thought I would have more time, at least a few days, to get myself adjusted to the idea. As it turns out, I never would have passed the physical because of the head injury in the 4th grade. If I had only gone for the physical and shown Hugh that I was committed, then that would have changed our relationship from there on. As it was, Hugh had even more reason to hate me for the rest of his life. Shortly thereafter I went from 1-A to 4-F and finished out the year at S.I.U. with an Associate Degree in Architecture. While at school, I met Debbie and got her pregnant so we got married. Just before graduation, a group of Architects flew in to Carbondale to interview people for jobs with their firm which specialized in churches. I was one of three candidates chosen to fly back with them for further interviews. While we were having a big dinner at this grand hotel, they were giving us all a chance to speak up for ourselves and the question of, "Have you ever been arrested?" came up and I admitted that I had been, like a fool, in front of about 30 people, and lost all chance of being hired as I happily explained about my shoplifting experiences. This shows how out-of-touch I was with reality and unprepared. It seems to me that the instructors at the school should have given us a little talk before going. Afterall, they were the ones who set it all up. There were other instances too, during the school year, of extreem irresponsibility and incompetence on the part of the instructors. At one point I was ready to bring charges against one instructor but chose not to so as not to effect my graduation. If a student wants to bring charges against an instructor for whatever reason, they will be threatened with failure to graduate whether they are right or wrong.
After graduation in 1968, Debbie and I went to Chicago with our new-born, Lee Eric and I got my first real job in Architecture with the Gulf Oil Corporation in Park Ridge. We designed service stations for the mid west region. It was a great job and I excelled in everything at work but at home I became increasingly disillusioned with everything and sent Debbie and the baby packing back to her parents in Carbondale. Later I came back to Carbondale to try to make it work but to no avail. She decided that being free to sleep around was more important than a commitment to me or Lee Eric. I found this out by following her around secretly and watching what she was doing.
Just to set the record straight, I probably never would have gotten mixed up with Debbie had it not been for her persistence in following my every move. When I got home from classes there she was waiting for me everyday. I moved to the country and she would sneak in at night and jump in bed. She would say that she was in her period so as not to worry but she was mostly lieing and infact trying to get pregnant. I know this in hindsight of course. This was only the beginning of a long and rocky road of people lieing to me and deceiving me on many different levels. I was never taught about how the world at large lies and deceives. I admit that I was very gullible but what do you expect from a kid who was forced to live a transparent life and to always tell the truth no matter what. It took years of dedication to learn how to give up being transparent and honest all the time.
So, I realized that it was over with Debbie and faced up to the truth that this was all part of her plan to get pregnant, have the kid, get divorced and then get free money every month for child support...then do it all over again with the next guy. Do this several times and you have enough to live on without ever having to have a job or having to be true to one husband. Since then I have learned how this attitude among women has swept the country since about the end of the 1960's, probably an off-shoot of the free-love generation.
Later Comments:
This is all what was going through my mind at the time and from that perspective. Of course today... 2019...I know better and hind site is 2020. One very important issue that effected me very deeply was the way Debbie handled the divorce. Instead of discussing it with me on a person to person basis first...she went directly to a lawyer and drew up the papers and then confronted me. Up to then anyway...I was the nicest person you would want to meet. There was no sign in me that I might resort to sudden violence if she brought this up in a private and respectful way. Had she done that, I would have simply said how much you need and I will be by to see Lee at your pleasure. There would have been no need for courts and lawyers. This was not only insulting but an act of war to use lawyers to paint me as some kind of a criminal who needs to be forced into paying child support. This is where I learned about how rigged the court system is. They turned divorce into a game of cat and mouse. The first one to file is considered to be in the right and the female is always considered innocent. The lawyers can make up anything they want with no proof required. At that time I believed that before a final divorce was declared, there would be a requirement by the court to see that both parties have been through psycological and civil tests of some kind. That is, as an American citizen, I should be able to trust the government to have my family's best interest in mind. After all, the child should be the first concern, not the two main parties. Every effort should be made to save a family before crushing any possibility of undoing long term damage to a young mind.
This kind of crap is still going on today all over the country. The idea that my government can walk into my life with no need of evidence and put a price on my child's head and force me to pay is outrageous!!! She knew that if she worked with me and showed a little respect and kept the law out of it, that I would probably do more than what the court ordered. I was a good respectable guy with a great future ahead of me and money would have been no problem. For her,the real issue was not just getting the money but destroying me personally and financially. That is the way I saw it at the time. And now you can see how I lost my son to lies and deception.
Read on at Chronicles II
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