Chronicles Of Metamorphisis
IN THE LIFE OF LARRY JAMES KEMP
 
CHAPTER II - DISCOVERY
 
From here on, I begin to use the notes for something other than just recordings of what has happened.  I start using experimental words and combinations of words together with drawings and diagrams to study the medium and try to determine it's potential.  This is where I start getting more philosophical and experiment with different subjects too.
 
1.  Peoria, Illinois 1971
Working for Architects as Design Draftsman
 
I must resort to writing my beliefs down because the fruits of my labor can be expressed in no other way at the present time.  "They" say that if you can't see something happening then nothing is happening.  I say that man and or human beings, must have something happening at all times to exist.  However, what is happening for each individual does not need to show where it can be seen in order for something good to be happening. This good job should be enough for some credit.  Where is all the praise for landing this cool job making more than any of my siblings.   Apparently, in the process of communicating ideas, people seem to be getting the impression that I am doing nothing with my life.  Even though people preach about not jumping to conclusions and about not judging a book by it's cover, they continue to do so in actual practice.  For me, to discuss my beliefs with most people today is like casting pearls before swine.  Therefore I must continue to write these ideas down in order to get the feedback I would normally get if I could share experiences with intelligent like-minded people.  Since I cannot seem to communicate well with the people around me in a way that they can understand, I feel that my brain is not being challenged to it's fullest extent.  I do not have the time to educate every person that comes along in order to carry on a conversation about matters which only I seem to know about.  I have even less time to pamper people who cater to the mundane and waste my time.  
In order for me to communicate my ideas well to the masses, I must present the ideas in a manner which can be identified with an existing known thing that is also an accepted known thing.  And then, an idea cannot be discussed unless it is socially acceptable or called for by the natural flow of daily human events.  My so-called inability to express myself in their terms and on their grounds is considered to be a problem and the result is that they can only identify me with the unknown.  The unknown, to them means fear and insecurity.  If I wait for the proper time and place to occur in order to expound on my ideas, they would never be heard even by me.
Realizing this I will continue to write.  I consider justifying my actions to be unnecessary and a terrific waste of time.  People try to lead me to believe that to accomplish my goals, I must accomplish their goals first.  I feel that my goal does not need to be forced into action.  My goal is everyone's goal and a perpetual goal that will always exist as long as man exists.  This goal will accomplish itself given time but I would like to see it happen in my life time.  This is the reason I persist.
 
2.  Description of a painting:  "The Big Dealer In The Sky"  The painting is arranged like a book. There are 10 pages.  That is, two hands of five card draw.
 
3.  Music is definitely catalytic to thought production.
 
4.  Description of a painting:  "Seeing Is Wanting"  That is, when you see food you want it.  Status is also something that seeing makes for wanting.
 
5.  Music heard causes want of more music.  However in my case, music is a necessity to offset loss of freedom because of my having to go to work everyday.  If I was completely free I could probably get along real well without music.  I might listen to music as much as I eat.  That is, more like nourishment than entertainment.  If I was free like I would rather be, my entertainment would be silence as I listen to the natural sounds of the earth.
 
6.  According to the book, The Greening Of America, there are 5 levels of consciousness.  You can read the book to re-evaluate what they mean by levels.  The point right now is that I believe that I am on level 4, and that may have direct bearing on my associations with the world at large.  Most people are on level 3.  I believe that I was born on level 4.  The level 4 considers all good influences outside the body as a means to an end which is full realization of freedom and happiness.  Consciousness 4 is a transition period to consciousness 5.  When you reach that level you no longer need outside influences other than nature's own and have no need of man made environments.  When consciousness 5 ends,  man will have achieved infinite life.  That is, according to this book.
 
7.  Rituals produce results, not by what is said or done but because doing them at all changes attitudes.  Attitudes produce results.
 
8.  Refer to diagram 1, a graphic pathway puzzle in a circle around a dot in the center that gets more and more complicated as it goes out.
The following diagram represents how life starts out simple and gets more complicated as time goes by.  This is a graph that information can be plotted on.  The dot in the center represents the beginning of life.  As you go out from this point the pathway gradually gets more complicated.  Each person's graph would be different in finite details but the same general overall appearance.
 
9.  This is a spontaneous writing.  I am either recording a spontaneous observation or past spontaneous reactions.  Sometimes this method of writing leads to confusion but not always and not usually.
 
10.  Somebody said that it couldn't be done but he with a chuckle replied that maybe it couldn't but he would not be one who would not try.  So he buckled right in with a trace of a grin and tackled the thing that couldn't be done and he did it.  Edgar A. Guest
Excerpt from poem I had to learn in the 7th grade.
 
11.  Don't be afraid to reach for the stars.  Don't be afraid to stand up for what you believe in.  You are the one who has to make the final decision about your life.  Society.
 
12.  Early 1970's
 
a.  Composition for a painting:  Picture of a pin popping a balloon.  A very small change can lead to a very large change in the total picture.
 
b.  Life is not a vacation from reality. Life is part of an uninterrupted creshendo to infinity.
 
c.   If you did what you were supposed to do in the beginning then you wouldn't have to do what you are doing now.
 
d.  My goal is to learn how to learn, to learn what to learn from and then to give to others something worthwhile to learn from.
 
e.  Awareness Book:  The reader should be made aware of how he thinks of a typical week.  He is an employee of some company where he has no investment in the company except his weekly time card.  How does this person visualize a week?  What graphic description could do justice to representing what a  person sees in his mind when he thinks of the average "next week"?  Theory is that by being exposed to this graphic description, the person's mind will be triggered into a new awareness.  What he will become aware of is a viscious circle that is a type of hypnosis and detramental to his existence in ways never before brought to the conscious mind.
f.  See Awareness Diagrams
Here are two possible ways to represent how a person might see this in the subconscious mind: What the employee has visualized:  The Fantasy: Mon-Fri is a very small strip of boxes between Saturday & Sunday which are giant explosions.  What the employer sees: The Reality: Giant boxes for Mon-Fri and little insignificant corners between for Saturday and Sunday.
 
g.  In exchange for this I gave myself away to evil.  For each muscle on her body I assign a thousand sufferings.
 
h.  Just keep things the way they are.  Change what you can while you can.  With one rule you can decide what should be done.  That rule is that anything can be taken to an extreem.  Some extreems create negative environmental influence.  Do not interject into the environment.  Bless what already exists.  Take care of what you already have and it will grow.  Blot out evil whereever and whenever you can.  God is an extreemly good or positively growth orientated stimulas.  I feel amazed when I think of all the millions of people who have trod the face of the earth and none have been able to crack the riddle of good.  That riddle is the key to the powers of good that is equal to the powers of evil.
 
i.  Oh, to flow!  Strange dealings and strange feelings!  No one yet has been able to stop learning and changing.  At no point in time has any mortal being been able to say realistically that he need not know any more than he knows right now to live a long and happy life.  I write these things to help me know more because I know that I have to know more to survive.  I think of this writing as recording.  As you can see, the classification simplifies the problem of composition and technical dificulties that may interfear with what creativity I may have left in me.  I do not see myself as just sitting here recording some facts.  Noises uttered by the vocal cords and written on paper can in no way clearly transmit what I have observed.  However, such fine communications are unnessary.  Most of what I observe is what everyone observes.  The difference is that I am recording my observations.  I am doing this because I think that everyone should.  I am setting an example by practicing what I preach.  I can rest in peace knowing that I have left something to the future generation to use as a tool for survival.
 
j.  An in-depth understanding of a problem helps the alliviation of the problem.
 
k.  In  Architecture, what is left over after legal consideration goes to tradition.  What little morsel is left for imagination, creativity and self renewal is hardly enough to make a living on.
 
l.  I do not believe anything I hear and half of what I see.
 
m.  Think about this:  When a pharoah's slave goes home at night after a hard day pushing stones, does he do 50 pushups before supper?  No, of course not.  The body needs rest before exercise.  Emphasize rest and plenty of it as though your bed was actually in a hospital.  You are sick until rest is fulfilled.  If God created us, did he make us self destructive?  That is, would God enjoy watching us live and die over and over?  Or, would God enjoy seeing us live longer in our physical form that we are in now?  In my opinion, I think he would like to see us less self destructive.  Would you like to see all that you have made that was beautiful and self renewing destroy itself?
 
n.  This is another suggestion for the name of a book:  "Trial Run".  One needs a trial run through life to get a better idea of what to expect.  This book is as close to that as I can get.
 
o.  Every day is another day with a chance to love and God is love.  So why just on Sundays?
 
p.  Two more names for books: "The Obvious and The Hidden"  and  "Signs and the Power of Suggestion"
 
q.  People are not as interested in you as you are interested in yourself.  This is true for most people.  One is more aware of one's self than he is of any other person's self.
 
r.  In order to be good at something you have to think as though you are already good at it.  You have to play-act for awhile till you start believing it and subsequently you become good at it.
 
s.  This is an idea for positive environmental effects using interior signage and graphics:  The objective is to apply the learning process known as flash cards.  These cards would be called environmental influence cards.
 
13.  Jan 17, 1971
Once a desire is evoked it will be restless until it is released.  Once a problem has entered one's mind it will remain intact until it can be solved.  This book is dedicated to the what because through the what will come the why.
 
14.  Description of the way it is at work as an Architectural Draftsman:
I'm sitting there at my drafting table drawing.  Then stop.  Then begin again, draw another line. Then stop.  Put your pencil down.  Lean back in your chair and stretch a little.  Take a deep breath and let the air out slowly.  Reach up and grab your pack of cigarettes that is laying on the shelf.  Fiddle around with your cigarettes for a little bit and knock one out of the pack.  Throw the pack back on the shelf and make it land exactly where you want.  You can hit it every time because you have done it so many times before that you have got it to a tee.  That pack of cigarettes is always going to hit exactly where you throw it.  You can never miss.  If you do happen to miss it is exciting.  Suddenly there is something to do.  You light up the cigatette and throw the match in the waste can.  You never miss the waste can either.  You can flip that match seven different ways and it will always hit exactly as expected.  You take a puff on the cigarette and put it in the ash tray.  Pick up the pencil and draw another line.  Stop, grab for the cigarette and take another puff.  Here comes the boss.  Put down the cigarette and pick up your pencil.  Make some noise with your t-square and draw another line.  Draw real slow this time because you know the boss is coming and he is going to walk up behind you and you don't know whether he is going to look over your shoulder or just exactly what he is going to do.  So, you keep drawing and make like you are really involved in what you are doing and you draw a little bit more and maybe you don't really know what you are drawing, maybe you are just drawing for the hell of it.  The point is that you are drawing and you are pushing the pencil and that lead is laying down on that sheet and it is leaving marks and that is what they like to see.  So you let yourself get involved in a little bit of extra shading here and there that really wasn't necessary and that normally you would have left out.  You are only doing it because the boss is coming.  So, the footsteps get closer and you can tell who is coming because you know exactly how every person walks.  You have heard every person's step so many times that you have that down to a tee also.  You know exactly who is comimg so you don't even have to look.  This time you know it is the big boss.  In the average case it would be a supervisor or a project architect.  Of course, he walks on by because he is going to the bathroom.  When he walks by he looks over your shoulder very sternly so that if you happen to look up he can look you straight in the eye and he will be able to tell whether you are really working or not, so he hopes.
 
14.  So, here I am at 26.  A peon with a so-called good job.  That brings up a good point.  This job as an Architectural Draftsman gets all this publicity as a super high class job where you are supposed to make all this big money.  I say from personal experience that if you have any real intelligence you should not be a draftsman because draftsmen are just machines.  They don't want anything but machines and when the machine is not running properly it had better look like it is running.  It does not matter what happens to you on the inside.  It does not matter what kind of feelings you get.  It does not matter if it causes you ulcers to sit in one place for so long being pressured to focus your attention on matters that are far removed from reality.  The point is that they just want you to be a machine and when you train to be a draftsman they do not train you to be a machine.  They give you all these high class fancy courses that are supposed to be so enlightening.  They teach you how to design buildings and draw all these beautiful plans and use line weights, special leads, paints, etc.  They take you out in the field and have you sketch a barn or something and that seems like a lot of fun and it seems like you really must be on your way to something really fun to do for a living.  But then after a while you finally discover that you are a slave and nothing but.  If you try to be anything but a slave you will be persecuted for it and you will be doing the persecution to yourself.
 
 15.  Do you know everything?  Do you need to know everything?  Do you need to know how to survive?  Let's suppose that all you need to know is how to survive.  First of all, what do we mean when we say "survive".  According to the dictionary, "...to remain alive or in existence; to continue life or activity."  To us this means to have a decent job, to make decent money, to have a decent place to live, to have lots of friends, aquaintences and all of the other various things that we do that mean survival.  For all practical purposes we could say that we do all these things because we want to remain alive and continue our existence.  It would be safe to say that of all the knowledge in the world today, we at least need to know that part of it that tells us how to survive.  Imagine two pie graphs or circles.  One has just a very small sliver of shaded area cut out of it and the other has a much larger sliver of shaded area cut out of it.  Each circle represents all of the knowledge in the world for it's respective time period.  The first circle represents the year zero and the second one is 1972.   The shaded area represents that part of all the knowledge that is necessary to know in order to survive.  Somewhere in that shaded area is bits of knowledge that helps us to recognize a threat to our survival.  If we did not know that there was such a thing as "threats to survival" then we might have already become one of those species that has become extinct.  However, we do possess that little bit of knowledge and most of what we do for continued survival is based on our ability to look ahead and be ready for new threats as they come along.  It is natural for us to get rid of these threats or at least keep them from getting rid of us.  If we had no desire to remain alive and continue our existence then we would simply ignore all the threats that come along and let them do us in.
So, within that portion of the circle that is shaded, we need to include that bit of knowledge that helps us to take care of threats to our survival.  Before we can take care of a threat we need a bit of knowledge out of that circle that shows us how to recognize a threat in the first place.  There are many things in our world today that may or may not be a threat.  Once we have recognized a threat then we can proceed to deal with it.  As we have progressed from the threat of a saber toothed tiger to a threat of a close on the mortgage we have had to learn new ways to survive.  As a result, we have made larger the amount of knowledge necessary to survive.
Looking at the two circles again, we can see how the shaded area has increased from earliest times to 1972.  From the day that we are born we are taught how to survive.  As times changed we have had to learn new ways to survive.  As we learn new ways we have had to teach the new people the new ways.  Until now we have been very successful in our methods of educating.  The old threats have put on new faces and we have been able to recognize them as they appeared.  We have always returned to our old friend called "knowledge" and he has come thru for us in helping the new people to survive.  Mr. knowledge is still with us today.  As we progress further, we need to consult him more often.  If the knowledge he has given us today had not already soaked in then we could not appreciate what he has to tell us tomarrow.  What he has to tell us tomarrow is that there is a new threat to our survival.  He wants us to be able to recognize it and deal with it effectively.  We have always had people in our society who have selfishly used knowledge against their fellow man.  These people have been able to cause much confusion and chaos for the rest of us because they saw us coming but we did not see them.
Since knowledge is free to anyone, Mr. Knowledge has had to show them how to get inside of you and find out what is most dear to you and then how to make a mockery of your dreams and how to leave you helpless and confused.  These parasites are in their height of glory.  They know how to begin with you at infancy and lead you on a leash throughout your entire life.  They know you better than they know themselves.  What is it that they know that you do not?  Look at the pie graph again.  What they know is one of those little bits of knowledge in that other area that is not shaded.  This is one of those little bits of knowledge that you passed over because it bored you.  What they know is that you can't stand being bored.  They know that you like to relax and take it easy.  They know that you are afraid of knowledge.  Mr. Knowledge is trying to tell you that these people are your new threat.  They have only done minor damages before but unless they are recognized now for the threat that they are they will soon eliminate even Mr. Knowledge and give you a cheap substitute.  What Mr. Knowledge knows is that you are just as capable of knowing what these parasites know.  He is trying to tell you to include a new bit of knowledge in your knowledge of survival.  Stop taking the easiest route.  Stop trying to force happiness.  Allow happiness to sneak in the back door and surprise you.  If you are a scared blind follower then you deserve what you get at their disgression.  However, if you wanted what our forefathers wnated for you, then open your eyes and start making your own path.
 
What does this mean to you right now?  Only that you should understand this new threat and beware of what it can do to you.  But if you need some help then that is why this is being written.  There is a definite system that is as precisely accurate and perfect as the balance of nature.  This system shows how to relate yourself right now to all that exists right now.  There is no guesswork left once you understand the balance system.  There is a key to this system and many thousands of people already have that key and there is no reason why you should not have it too.  Give knowledge a chance.  Find out once and for all what it is that makes you want to remain alive and in existence.  Find out what makes you want to survive.  Those parasites that lead you around on a leash are not hurting.  In fact, they live much better than you do.  I could be one of them if I chose to.  However, the life of a hypocrite does not appeal to me.  There is no challange to being selfish.  The real challange is to have a belief that is stronger than the strongest objector and hold onto that belief and accept no substitutes.  That belief is the belief on which this country was founded and if we do not have it now, it is about time we got it.
 
 
16.  October 24, 1971
Man is born with the desire to achieve personal fulfillment.  He has at his disposal a limitless number of ways to achieve this personal fulfillment.  Of all the ways there are to do this, I am beginning to believe that only one of them is the real one.  Picture a used dart board target with a bulls eye in the center of concentric circles.  It is dotted with holes all over where darts have hit.  Imagine that each dot or hole represents an attempt by some person to achieve personal fulfillment.  The closer you get to the center, the closer you are to fulfillment.  Only the center point is complete fulfillment and there is only one center point.  I believe that the exact center is inconceivable and to arrive there might be a catastrophy.  It could be that just the mere knowledge of how to arrive there could place you there the second the knowledge was received and understood.  It would be like a chain reaction.  It might be the sort of catastrophy that would occur if a primitive African tribesman was suddenly uprooted and transported to the heart of New York City.  The guy would be so disorientated that he could have a heart attack.
However, I think that I should aim for the center anyway because I believe that one man did make it to the center and that was Jesus Christ.  The reason he achieved what he did was because he was on the exact point or infinitely close to it without going off the deep end.  It goes without saying that I believe that any person can get there if he wants to.  The Bible is sort of an attempt to tell us peons how to get there in our own terms.  How would I go about telling the African tribesman about New York City in his own terms?
Anyway, the idea is that man is born with this force inside of him that causes him to want to be close to the center whether he is aware of it or not.  Whether this force is fulfilled or not deoends on man's abilities to cope with the environment.  The exact perfect environment will be classified as unknown at this time.  What is known is what is not the exact environment.  Thatis, anything that is negative.  I will return to the subject of negative and positive later.  Negative environment is the greatest deterant to this accomplishment.  Negative environment conceals and distorts the reality of the force that I speak of, so much that man will forget it's importance and distort his own mind to conform to the distorting factors of the environment and thus ending up with only an inadequate substitute for fulfillment.
Therefore it becomes evident that the less one allows negative environment to distort his basic force, the less chaos occurrs in the mind and the easier it is for him to progress toward total fulfillment or the bullseye.
 
Through time man as a whole has slowly but surely progressed toward the center.  He is just now getting within seeing distance of where he is going.  However, it seems that the closer he gets to the point the more things he conjurs up to distract from the point.  If I was to abandon all negative influences right now in order to get to the real point I would surely die before achieving my goal.  So I must resort to conquering the environment and making it as positive as I can despite the multitude of negatives that beset me.  I do feel that the negatives can be used against themselves to form positives so I must spend my life making ready for the ultimate instead of doing the ultimate.  This is sort of like getting the launch pad ready so the rocket can take off.  I think that I will be satisfied with my life if I just have enough time to prepare the launch pad.  Then others can use it to launch themselves.  If I get to launch then so much the better.
 
This all emplies a formula such as E=Mc2.  Formulas like this can be created for abstractions.  I think there is an existing formula that can be used for a person in order for him to make his own launch pad and be able to take off in his lifetime.  My life shall be devoted to this total concept.  My writing serves as tracers to allow me to analize my progress as I gather more data.  I can become more aware through comparitive analysis.
17.  A time when negative factors distort one's goal is when they prevent one from analyzing them.  If a negative environmental condition tends to make a person incapable of analyzing it then that condition must be abandoned if at all possible.
 
18.  I decided that my goals near and far should all be written down.  I got this from the book,"Psyco Cybernetics".  I must have a definite goal.  I still feel that that my goal is not definite enough.  Said in my words and not the book's: Think over and ahead of what you are doing at present.  Elevate yourself above the situation.  Always remember to review past sources of knowledge and inspiration.  Remember the importance of new atmosphere and surroundings.  Give each new impression plenty of time to prove it's reality.
 
19.  Oct 24,1971
Here are some words to describe a window: Ventilator, glass, means of seeing out, means of escape, metal, screens, hardware, etc.  One of these words by itself does not mean window.  All of them together and in the proper sequence means window.  This is how scientists get answers to complicated questions.  They compare and contrast little bits of information that taken individually would be meaningless.  By putting the pieces together and making a connection the answer presents itself.  In the case of the ultimate question, all the information in the world is relevant data.
 
20.  Nov 22, 1971
There are many books out that analize a person's actions, thoughts, feelings, clothes, manner of writing, eating, speaking, living or whatever.  These books should all have a label on the front that says: This book shows the results of our frustrated, rat racing, status seeking, chaotic environment on the inhabitants thereof.
 
21.  Description of a painting:  This starts with the silouette of the famous statue, The Thinker.  The shape is defined by a collage of everyday items like newspapers, bills, magazines, cards, etc.  The theme is that man is a product of his environment.
 
22.  In general it seems that everything is equaled out more and more. Not only does the overall equal out but each small part of the whole equals out naturally.  If I do not have a certain amount of creativity at work in a day's time, then I create at home that amount and visa-versa.
 
23.  Dec 10, 1971
New Idea:  Carry a little black book around with you at all times.  The idea is to stop every once and a while and jot down notes on your attitude, how you feel, what the environment is, etc.  After compiling months and years of notes there is much to be learned about yourself that otherwise will be lost forever.
 
24.  I want to discover, among other things, what produces a mood.  Then I can proceed to produce only good moods.
 
 
 
25.  1972
Refer to diagram 2, a puzzle of peices that fit together in the shape of a person's head.  Each piece of the puzzle is labled with names like, Insurance, Security, Freedom, Status, Debt, Fun, etc.
What is it?  Then, why is it? Where does each piece rank in relation to the next?  Every bit of information either adds to existing knowledge,  adds new knowledge or both.  All information gathered is for the purpose of compiling a huge code that needs to be deciphered.  Each bit of information is not an end in itself but a means to an end.  Most people fear that that end means an end to them and the destruction of their world.  They therefore concentrate on pieces of the puzzle as ends in order to be "safe" because history has proven it to be so in their minds.  This is the accepted method of operation.  However, history has also shown that all problems can be solved one way or another except for one.  This one has been ignored, feared and hated since time began.  All those who examined it closely and became associated with it were also feared and hated.  Those who have solved it, and there must be thousands, either died before they could relate it to mankind or were smart enough to see that others would not accept their work as contributions but as an indication of one's desire for an early death.  They therefore had to choose the alternative of being satisfied with their own results and letting it work for just themselves.  When they died it died with them.  Mankind, therefore lost out.  The same man who walks the tight-rope over the Grand Canyon, or who races at the Indy500, or who balances himself on a girder 100 floors above the ground to build a skyscraper or who faces death for his country, this same man who fears no evil, fears TRUTH, and he is typical of the majority that controls consumer demand which controls my life.
 
26.  Mid 1970's
I am thinking about starting a comic book magazine called Future Man.
 
27.  The object is to elliminate needless struggle for the basics of life.  There need be no competition for basic sustinance when such is free and plentiful.
 
28.  I beseach the people of the United States to get together and discuss the issues while you still have a chance.  Don't forget, we are still progressing geometrically and most people don't even know what that means.
 
29.  The older I get, the more I am sickened by ignorance and the less I know about how to get rid of it.  How about a silence school or an experience school.  The students can relax and enjoy themselves in an atmosphere of positive influence, which brings up direct and indirect positive and negative studies.
 
30.  This is an idea called, Power Of Suggestion Signs.  This is a way to test the power of positive suggestion.  Here is two similar examples:  " Come Into Being" or "Release Yourself Into Being"
 
31.  Our society is made up of people seeking freedom and independence.  We want our direction to be the expansion of both.  We may never reach a point where we can say that we are totally free and independent but we like to think that we are continuing to strive in that direction.  The ultimate freedom and independence may be out of our reach for this generation but we can classify it as "Failsafe Autonomy".  That is, a condition in which one's day to day existence is totally free of undesirable necessities and influences.  A pure failsafe autonomous condition cannot be threatened by man or nature.  Only God has control of a failsafe autonomous condition.
 
32.  2-18-1972
What is an inspiration?  The five senses are mediums or tools that increase inspiration.  What I am getting at is that an inspiration is like a sense but not as easily recognizable.
 
33.  1972
Man in the United States:  Man is predictable.  The important thing is not what the prediction is but THAT man is predictable.  The prevailing belief is that man is not predictable.  Therefore the sooner man realizes this concept the sooner he will be saved from himself.  We are so wrapped up in the trees of what, when, where and how much that we have lost our concept of the entire forest of why.  Survival to the fittest, not so much the fittest of body but the fittest of mind.
 
34.  Society says to me:  Be a good boy.  Forget about yourself and your needs and wants.  Be a good servant to others.  You are not worthy of making your own decisions because you have no way of knowing what to base your decisions on.
 
35.  It takes great strength to be real.
 
36.  Awareness key:  A key that causes one to become aware of matters that he was not previously aware of consciously or imphatically.  The time it takes to turn the key is the time between you and a new vision.  A lack of abundance of awareness keys causes mutation.  This mutation defies beauty.  This mutation is red...the red that is next to the claws that are next to the steel of a gleaming pitchfork that is possesed by a composition of hate with horns on it's head!
 
37.  My kingdom for an interesting job.  I have the ability to do anything but I am only doing something.  My kingdom consists of my being and it's time and place on earth.
 
38.  Avoid complaints and disguised complaints.
 
39.  Each day we go through a series of emotions and each year we go through a series of emotions.  The daily emotions are different from the yearly emotions.  The daily one's might be Love, Hate, Fear, Joy and the yearly one's might be those associated with holidays such as Christmas, New Years, July 4th, Easter, Birthdays and special times of the year for each individual.  It would be interesting to compare and contrast the two different types of emotions.
 
40.  College is a place where people learn about the mistakes of other people in the past so that they will not waste their lives on a proven mistake.  They can then judge more wisely about their own direction.  The other opinion is that man does not need to worry about mistakes.  Man only needs to know that he loves life and living.  Mistakes are man-made or synthetic.
 
41.  We are not seeing an end to individualism.  What we will be seeing is an end to those things which are not individualistic.  Things that are not individualistic are signs of interdependence or socialism.
 
42.  Description of a sculpture:  It is a statue of a typical person with a few words engraved at the base.  It says:  The material used to create this statue is that which exists.  The title is, "The truth is that which exists."
 
43.  Evil will instruct you in the fine art of dieing.  Good will instruct you in the fine art of living.
 
44.  The process of living, for the average person, can be divided up into four basic stages:  Alive, Existing, Dieing and then Dead.  A 24 hour period can be divided up into the same four stage sequence.  In other words, a level of total aliveness is not capable of being maintained for a consistent period of time.  Sometimes you are up and sometimes you are down.  In the up times you are truely, totally and completely alive but you cannot maintain that level for a 24 hour period, day after day after day.  Jesus and a few choice others are the only ones yet to be alive completely 24 hours a day or as nearly so as any human being ever has been.  All this time, we are being taught how to die, not how to live.
 
45.  Consider this:  I need money to eliminate the need for money.  Consider: In search of a better way.  Consider: Strength to conquer weakness and vulnerability to evil.  I want power but I do not seek power for power's sake.  I have a greater need for power.  I want power as a means to survival so that I can fulfill my primary want which is to re-create heaven on earth.
 
46.  This is a devil from your message.  They are trying to take away our stupidity.  Without stupidity we would all be dead by now.  If you lose your stupidity before you gain the wisdom to use knowledge wisely, then the improper use of knowledge will cause your early death.  With the aid of knowledge, one can do anything.  A person could think of a new car or ten million dollars and have it instantly.  He could also, quite by accident, think of himself as being dead....whoops too late....your dead.  If you didn't die then you are one of those lucky ones.  You are still stupid.  This is a demonstration of the power of suggestion.  Ask yourself this question:  What suggestion could be made to me that that would cause me to think of something that would cause me to think of something else (like a chain reaction) that would make me do an act that I had no control over?
 
47.  When I was growing up I was frequently asked the question: What do you plan to be when you grow up?"  This seemed like a strange question because I already was what I wanted to be.  I had no need of being anything like a doctor, lawyer or Indian Chief.  Of course I had needs but not those kind.  My greatest needs were to be loved and accepted by my family and everyone.  However, I was to find out later that my definition of acceptance was too demanding of people.  My second greatest need  was to get good results out of whatever it was that I happen to be doing at the time.  That is, I wished for approval of my deeds second to my wish for acceptance as an entity.  "Entity" defined:  1. The fact of existence.  2. Something that exists independently.  However, I was to find out later that despondency ran amuck!  "Despondency" defined:  Depression of spirits from loss of hope or courage; dejection.  "Amuck": In a murderous frenzy or a fit of wildness.  Not only that, despondency was supported and practiced by people who had my respect as worthy teachers or examples.  this is a fact I was never able to accept until recently.  That is part of my reason for writing this.  You see, with despondency running amuck without my knowledge of it's existence, my need for acceptance as an entity could not be fullfilled.  With these kinds of pressures coming in from all sides and preventing the fullfillment of my number one need, I did the only thing that could be done.  I looked for fullfillment of my secondary need.  I thus embarked upon my journey to this day.   That is, I gave up on trying to be accepted and just focused on doing a good job at work and hope that somewhere down the road my good works would be rewarded outside of being paid.   
 
48.  1975
What is not bullshit!?  What is for real?  What or who is deserving of respect and admiration?
 
49.  The only thing that comes natural is the capacity for development.  A skill does not come natural.  It is developed through time and effort.
 
50.  If Jesus died because of his attitude, then, like they say, "No one can help the man with the wrong attitude."
 
51.  There comes a time when every man makes up his mind that he is never going to be able to make up his mind about anything.
 
52.  Question:  If a thing is not done with ease, is it not done right?
 
53.  Quotation from somewhere:  You will be sent to calm the envious spirit and the troubled mind.  ( Later comment:  This statement sums up my view of myself then and ever sense.)
 
54.  This is a name for an organization:  Land Purchase/ Development Co-op.  This is a proposed way to buy land in larger quantities in order to get more land for less money per person.  The reason this is not done much is because people cannot be trusted.  The idea would work fine if everyone's intentions were honorable.
 
55.  Don't try to force things into happening.  Just watch what is happening already and use it to your advantage if you can, without going out of your way to extreems.
In other words, I was trying to say to approach your life like a martial arts expert who knows how to take a given force and rather than defending against it, just redirect it to one's favor.  Or, as in the movie, The Gardener, be like Peter Sellers and say very little. Let the world around you come to their own conclusions while you play on their assumptions.
 
56.  Early 1980's, Ravenna, Ohio period.
A good thing to remember when running your own business:  Success does not usually come overnight.  A certain amount of struggling must occur first.  This process of struggling has a tendency to help one develop self control which is a must for a free person.  However, the struggle of developing a new business soon passes and expectations are far surpassed.  The alternative to being self employed is being an employee.  If you are not lucky, the pay is less than adequate.  No great expectations are ever realized.  No free thinking and self control is developed, and the struggling never ends.

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